Fear.

Fear is so disruptive

It’s been so long

That it’s held me captive


I fear dying

I fear living

I fear just being


What’s it that’s always chasing me?

What is this maze

of hope yet hopelessness?

Why can’t I just be?


I so fear the ending

that I don’t even get to

live the beginning.


Fear is so disruptive

It’s been so long

That it’s held me captive.



P.S.: Hello! It’s been a while, since I last posted. Hope you all are doing good. I have been really busy with my university work and also I wasn’t in a proper headspace to write anything. This is the exact representation of how I’ve been feeling lately. Rather for a long time, now. I’ll try to be as regular as possible from now on. Lots of love. Be kind to yourself and each other. x



Memories.

It was July, twenty-third

Remembering the day isn’t hard

The first time you called me petal

It still makes me so sentimental.



It was year two-thousand and ten 

Those years were absolutely golden

In between all the moments that we’ve stolen

Can never be forgotten.



You played me Fleetwood Mac, 

Sang me Rolling Stones,

In passion and happiness,

Your eyes shone.



From 60s classic to Brit Pop to Soft Rock

Incomprehensible Italian lyrics to Japanese,

Our karaoke nights,

Witnessed it all.



From exchanging Murakami to Brautigan,

And so much more,

These memories will never perish

You’re my most prized secret 

That I’ll forever cherish.

One of my absolute favourite scenes of all time.

P.S.: I started blogging exactly 15 days ago. I love to write. Always have. And, I gave myself a mental challenge to write something everyday for fifteen days straight. And, I did write new poems every single day for the last fifteen days. I never thought I could. But, I did it and this’s something I’m very proud of. For this consistency. And, within these days I’ve gained a lot of support from my fellow bloggers and friends. So, I just wanted to say a massive thank you. I’ll be taking a few days break as I’m a final year masters student and I’m loaded with tasks. But, I’ll be back very soon. Please keep supporting. Treat everyone with kindness. All the love. -A. 🙂

She.

She’s both holy water and hellfire

It depends on what you desire.

She’s more than just her attire

She’s got a handful of admirers.



She’s chasing her highest highs

and lowest lows,

She’s way more than you’ll ever know.

She takes your every blow

To you, anything she doesn’t owe.



She’s always craved simplicity 

All she’s ever got is duplicity.

She’s been questioned about her activities 

She’s been forced to doubt her abilities.



She’s a woman, she’s weak, 


it’s a complete myth.

She’s not an object for you to play with.


She thinks, walks, and talks just like you,

She’s a human too.



Let her voice, fly, run and jump

She’s not for you to dump.

She’s not a burden,

She’s her own person.

You are valid. You are beautiful.

P.S.: I’m a feminist. A supporter of the LGBTQIA+ community. And, a firm believer and supporter of gender equality and equity for everybody. If you do not associate with any specific gender, I support you. This poem, is in honour of all the beautiful and strong, diverse women, around the world. All the cis women. All the trans women. Every women. I respect your experiences, identities, knowledge and strength. You all are so valid. And, so loved. 🌻

You.

I want to write something new

And, then I think about you.


You’re the first drop of monsoon rain

You’re the only piece of sane.

You’re that passing breeze in a scorching day

You’re the only one

who makes me want to stay.

You’re the tear of relief

You’re the only one

who helps me through my grief.

You’re that comfort music, feeling,

food and smell

You’re the only one who can break my shell.

You’re the space between sleep and awake

You’re that only dream I’ll forever remember.

You’re the one who doesn’t have a face

You’re the only one, that I chase.

Are you a person, place or emotion?

You’re the only reason my life’s in a motion.

Then I look myself in the eye

You’re the because, to my every why.


I want to write something new

And, then I think about you.



P.S.: Sometimes your comfort zone can be a place, emotion or a person. Or may be you, yourself. It’s just that you don’t realize it at first. 🙂

Bewitched.

Waking up to see the early sunrise

The sleep from last night 

still stuck in my eyes

The chaotic cacophony fade

in our morning skies



All of your amalgamation of colours

Hold me captive,

You are indeed

extremely attractive.


 
Oh darling sunrise,

Even though you are

all the colours and hue

Why do I feel like

I’m still betraying you?



Why does my heart still cry

for you dear sunset?

Why do I make

sunrise always upset?



Oh darling sunset,

do you have any clue?

Is it the night sky that 

you bring along with you?

P.S.: Are you a sunrise person or a sunset person?

Trapped.

I’ve always wondered how do I feel

What is it that I always conceal?

Why do I always let my heart peel?

Why doesn’t it ever heal?


Why do I always feel this discomfiture?

Is it my past or my future?

Why is it that I’m always so scared?

Is it the known or the unknown?


What is it that I’m running after?

When did I lose all of my laughter?

Am I living in the past?

Is this how things will forever last?



Why does it haunt me and soothe me

at the same time?

Why does my life feel so out of rhyme?

Why does everything feel so surreal?

What are these feels that I feel?


Image downloaded.


P.S.: Sometimes, our own emotions can hold us captive and it may become a little too overwhelming. Always remember it’s completely natural to feel this way. But, if it over stays its welcome, I will always suggest medical help. Do not ignore it. 🙂

Apocalypse.

What would you do if you knew,

today was your last day?

Will you take the chance and


tell them what you always wanted to say?



Will you be a bit more kinder

Towards yourself and

to each other ?



Will you love yourself

and everyone else a little more

Than what you did before?



Will you live through every moment?

Now that you know

Life is just a fragment.



Will you take the leap of faith

to fight this eclipse

and live through the apocalypse?



What would you do if you knew,

today was your last day?

Will you take the chance and


tell them what you always wanted to say?

Image downloaded.

P.S.: If you knew you are living the last 24 hours of your life on this planet, what would you do? Will you do everything that you have always wanted to? Or will you just let it go?

Nostalgia.

It’s been years that I

have heard this song

The one that—

I used to sing along.



It’s been years that I

have met you

My best friend when—

I was two.



It’s been years that I

have read this book

The one which now—

lays in this cramped old nook.



It’s been years that I

have sprayed this perfume 

The one which smelled —

like the Spring Bloom.



It’s been years that I

have boxed these stories

The ones with which—

I’ve had different memories.

Image downloaded.

P.S.: Sometimes while you are working or having a quiet night in, you hear a faint tune coming from far somewhere, and at first you can’t really point your finger but you feel like you’ve heard it before. And, then it hits you that there was a time when it used to be your absolute favourite song which you used to play every single day and probably used to hum along. Similarly, in your busy schedule there are times, when suddenly you remember certain faces with whom you have lost contacts over the years. Or you are dusting your old stuffs and you come across a crumpled, old book whose pages have turned yellow and the binding’s torn a bit. There’s a time it used to be your comfort book. Or at times you in the most strangest of places you get a very familiar faint smell and you remember the perfume you were so used to with. And, all the memories attached with these things bring a wave of nostalgia and hit you. So, here’s to memories and nostalgia. 🙂

Grief.

Grief, is that unfathomable misery

Dealing with it,

needs a lot of bravery.



Grief, is that unfathomable misery

We don’t know how to answer,

The way to tackle it

is still a mystery.


 
Grief, is that unfathomable misery

Some days it comes in waves,

leaps and bounds

Other days are pretty sound.



Grief, is that unfathomable misery

If you share it out loud,

People call it

an act of clout.



Grief, is that unfathomable misery

If you keep it to yourself,

You don’t know how to express

You are a cause of distress.



Grief, is that unfathomable misery

Dealing with it,

needs a lot of bravery.

Image downloaded.

P.S.: Death is inevitable. And, so is grief. If you are grieving, it is your grief. So, take as much time as you need/want to heal. If you do not want to talk about it, don’t. If you feel good sharing it, do it. If posting about it on social media, helps you feel okay, do it. There is no right way, time, place, to grieve. So, do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Do not let anybody invalidate your feelings. I wish you happy healing. All the love.🌻 -A.

A lost love.

In the midst of my life,

I found you like a wallflower 

You’re everything that

I could ever desire.




I hold you close to my heart

You disappear like stardust

I shut my eyes to feel you close

But all I feel is morose.




Did you really exist?

Or it was just a fever dream,

Even though I want to

But why can’t I ever scream?




I drive our car

through our old town,

Nothing feels the same

Without you around.

Image downloaded.

P.S.: Today’s poem is a bit different. It is about a love which is gone, or never really existed. We all experience love in our life, in various way, shape or form. I believe, you can never really define love. You just feel it. Some of my absolute favourite movies/ songs/ books, inspired me to write this today. So, cheers to love, that is gone, which is still here and which is yet to come. 🙂